Just. Let. Go.

Let go! Let go? Yes, I just said “let go”. Let go of what, you ask? Let go of your attachment to the outcome as it's viewed through the illusion of your expectations. Or let go of the past that is no longer serving you. This is a form of surrender, not the “raise the white flag” sort of surrender but a letting go of the need to control everything and everyone in your life and letting go of the hold that your ego mind has over you.

I have been agonizing over an outcome and told to "let it go, it’s not worth it”.

I've been in yoga class and the teacher says "let go" … I then feel my muscles relax as I breathe into the posture, making room for the expansion of my body.

I've been teaching a yoga class or leading a transformational workshop and asked my students and clients to "let go".

I've been in dead end relationships and have asked, "let me go".

But the “let go” that I am talking about now is the internal letting go. As a student, like you I’ve wondered, “Let go of what?” and then I spend time in contemplation. My mind looks for things to let go of. I make lists of “to dos” and make letting go a “doing-ness”. Does it mean clean out the closet and get rid of the clothes that I no longer wear or fit into? Is it a clearing of the spiritual inner closet full of “stuff” that I’ve been holding onto, long past its expiration date? I mean if it was old food and I was cleaning out the ‘fridge, I’d just throw it away. While I might open every container to see what the contents are, I surely would not sit there on the kitchen floor staring at the old food, reliving each meal! For the most part, I would look at the expiration date, see if it was past due, throw it out and recycle the containers. When it comes to old food, there is no emotional attachment but when it comes to our past and our memories of the past (good or bad), it’s our emotional ties to those moments that we cling to.

As we yearn for transformation, we dig. Just like panning for gold, we sift through the fog of our minds … we dig for memories of the past and old belief systems that no longer serve our highest good. Past memories that hold us hostage, keeping us from embracing our greatest potential. Past memories that leave us feeling small, when all along we were born to be big. Now here’s the kicker …. our "minds" are what is doing the digging. Let me explain. I sit here, hitting the replay button on a memory. Reliving the pain or pleasure … replaying it because it either makes me feel good or it makes me feel bad, either way, it’s another form of addiction because I am feeding my preferences or my likes and dislikes. In turn and with the ultimate conviction, my ego tells me whether or not I was enough in the memory. But then I ask myself, how accurate is the memory in the first place? I mean think about it this way. When a crime is committed, the police interview a wide variety of witnesses. Why? Because they know that no one’s mind has the ability to capture a moment in 100% accuracy. They piece the evidence together like a puzzle and go with the main thread as they deepen their investigation in search of the truth.

If the police have to ask so many witnesses, then why do we put so much faith and trust in our individual mind? Why would we not believe that our minds experience life through our perceptions? Our likes and our dislikes? So is my perception of my memory influenced by the person I am today … a culmination of experiences that happened between now and when the memory took place? Yes, it is. I can’t go back and change the memory. I can’t go back and confront the ghosts of the past. All I can do is shift the relationship I have to the memory and let go of the emotional relationship that my ego mind has with it.

And just as the memory rises up from within, I grasp onto it, pleased with my “research” and I hold on tightly because at times those memories are as clear as a bell, and at times they elude me. As long as my mind searches for things or situations to let go of, I harbor the logic, the justification and the reason to hold on even tighter and just like the character from Lord of the Rings, Gollum, I sit there and obsess … mine, mine, mine. Or my precious, my precious, my precious. But when my ego is holding on so tightly, why in the world would I want to let go? Just because it’s good for me? How many times have you heard that one? You want to let go of it because ultimately the past memory is just an illusion, interpreted through the expectations that others have put on you. It wasn’t experienced through the truth of who you are … it was experienced through what others wanted you to be. So how does surrender become a vital part of letting go? It’s the difference between fighting the tide or drifting in the current.

When it comes to surrender, in the beginning of the practice of letting go, there is a battle between the mind and the heart.

The mind says you are being manipulated. Your heart says trust.  
The mind says you are being lied to. Your heart says believe.  
The mind says you are not worthy. Your heart says you are loved.
The list goes on and on.

In the end, when you surrender, it's letting go of the war inside you. There is no white flag. No one wins. No one loses. Surrender is the space in between the feeling and the action, so to let go is to simply Be. To witness one's life without being for, or against, what is in front of you. To witness is to Be. To witness is to live life as it comes your way, to be fully present no matter what the situation and to know that when you let go, you will be able to be the best version of YOU that you can possibly be because you have let go of your past and your future. And in this moment, there is only this. You.