3 Tier Planning Strategy 4 UR Success
When it comes to time management, some people are amazing at it and some people just simply suck at it. We get overwhelmed by our long list of “to do” and forget about our dreams and long-term goals. Or at least those dreams get shoved to the back of the proverbial closet and our long-term goals slip lower and lower on our priority list until one day we wake up and look back on our lives. It is this “shoulda, coulda, woulda” perspective that I try to avoid at all costs. The fact of the matter is no one spends much time sitting us down and teaching us the secrets to prioritizing our lives. There simply is this expectation that as women, we will do it all, cook it all, clean it all, and all within a work-life balance.
Secret #1: Work-life balance is an illusion.
For me there is no such thing. You are working … or you are living. Period. I don’t shoot for balance, I shoot for centeredness and presence.
But think about it. You’re at work but you left home that morning, distracted because your kids are home sick from school. Are you fully present and engaged with your work? No, how can you be? And how often are you distracted by your phone and the incoming texts about “where is the aspirin” or “where is the cough syrup”. Or perhaps you are at home cooking dinner but tomorrow is your big presentation and your shot at a promotion. Are you fully present and engaged with your family? No. Your mind is on your script, playing the future-based scenario over and over in your head hoping that you don’t screw it up. So you forget an ingredient or you burn the chicken. This is our reality! However once we know the secret to successful planning, we just might be able to put our heads on our pillows at night and slip into restful slumber, knowing that we were centered, able to give our best selves to the people we spent our time with throughout our day. And this is the reason for today’s blog … helping others!
In the 15 years I worked onboard cruise ships, I was bound by a schedule. From day to night, every event was meticulously planned, giving me time to get from one event to another without running from bow to stern or from deck 3 to deck 11. I embraced the almost militaristic time schedules. They were organized and logical. I didn’t have to think beyond how I could transition from day to night and how many pairs of shoes I would need to change in and out of in order to support my feet and legs on my 16-hour work days. As the Social Hostess, I lived by my own schedule, but kept a copy in my pocket at all times in case a guest stopped me to ask what time the galley tour started and where did they have to meet. I didn’t memorize anyone else’s schedule, just mine.
Once I became a Cruise Director, that self-centered behavior changed and I quickly found myself responsible for the entire daily program. Not only did I face the additional challenge of marrying every departments request’s with the express intention of exceeding guest expectations, I was also responsible for ensuring that we hit our ship’s revenue goals. Definite pressure to not screw it up. Putting it mildly, it was work to stay present and not forget which day’s events I was to follow because I was literally living with one foot in “today” and one foot in “tomorrow” or “next cruise”.
After all of these years, I would like to think that I am pretty good at time management (I’ve got decades of planning and scheduling) but after living for so many years tied to a schedule, I have found over the past nine months, that I also like to follow prana or in other words, “go with the flow”. This allows me the opportunity to bounce between things as I find them to be interesting or entertaining. At times this drives my Virgo-compartmentalizing husband bonkers, however after eight years together, he has come to a place of acceptance. It took him a while to tolerate it but now he realizes that it actually helps to feed my creativity, so he has let go and accepted.
Recently I was working with one of my coaching clients, who shared how overwhelmed she felt. The self-induced pressure to perform had internalized to self-judgment that had slipped into her inner dialog, and she recognized that while she was really busy, she actually wasn’t productive. It was in this irony that her stress levels were rising, she was sleeping poorly and the more pressure she put on herself, the more scattered she felt. So she turned to me for help. In our brainstorming session, I pointed out a shift in awareness for her …
As human beings we can live 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food.
… and I waited. Her first response was pretty much, “Yvette, what has that got to do with my problem? I’m trying to get my life together and follow some sort of schedule that works for me so I can reach my goals. I was hoping you could help me!”
I listened with compassion and asked her to think about what I just said. As human beings we can live three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food. I gave her some time with it and then said, “Now take that air, water, food analogy and apply it to your life.” A-ha! Bingo! The lights just went on! It’s amazing when you have a shift in perspective. Since this was a new concept for her, I asked if she was interested in hearing more. I told her that all you have to do is start by making a list of your “to dos”. These should include your short term and long-term goals and remember to include your dreams … we have to dream, right?
Once you have your list … and the first time you do this, your list could be super long … and that is perfectly ok. Let it be long … let yourself be inspired. Dream! Dream big! At the same time, be practical and include all of those mundane tasks like everyone’s favorite “cleaning the house”. When you begin, everything looks like it should be a high priority aka air! It’s how we have been living on full throttle for years and this is why you feel overwhelmed in the first place.
Secret #2: You have been told that EVERYTHING has to be at the top of your priority list … that is an illusion.
The only person in charge of your life and how you feel in it, is you. Slow down, consider your list, and why not try Secret #3 the air, water, food analogy? Once you have that list, assign a color to each category (I like using different colored highlighters for this.) and review each task one at a time, prioritizing them based upon whether they are air, water or food.
Welcome to Secret #3 … the “how to” of the analogy!
Just Breathe
The perfect image for Straw Breath, one of the best cooling breaths on the planet!
AIR = URGENT, URGENT, URGENT. Ask yourself, do I need to do this now, tomorrow or soon? These are tasks that if you don’t get them done, it could compromise your relationship(s), you could lose your job. Tasks that for me identify who you are by what you do. It’s how my husband and I prioritize our relationship and outside of that, it’s the difference between me getting a raise, or getting a new gig.
Once you assign air to your “to do” list, water and food come pretty easy. Actually this is one of the most fun ways of figuring out your week, your month and maybe even your year.
How Much Water Should I Drink Per Day?
Easy calculation. Take your body weight, divide it in half and that is how many ounces of water YOU need.
H2O = IT’S GOTTA BE DONE but not now, tomorrow or soon. I would say these are things that if you put them off until later, that’s perfectly ok. But let’s say it’s your mother’s birthday on September 4 and it’s only July. Do I need to order her birthday present NOW? No, I can put that off until next month. But if your mother’s birthday is tomorrow, and you haven’t even gotten her a card, guess what? That just became your AIR! So in essence, water are things that while they are not life and death, they are important. They can be time sensitive, and you can easily identify what is a priority and what “can wait”.
What Is Food?
Food is any substance consumed to provide nutritional support for the body.
FOOD = SUSTAINABILITY. Of course food is important! A foodie is writing this right now! So food tasks are longer-term goals that while you would like to get them checked off of your “to do” list, if they get moved into the next week, this is how you start your new week (if your list is short) or next quarter (if your list is long) that is perfectly ok.
For this exercise, make it fun. Sit down on a weekend and brainstorm your list or lists. Break them down into air, water, food and then insert them into the upcoming week, the following weeks and months beyond. Not only will this give you peace of mind, it will help to keep you on track for success.
It is far easier to be productive when you are less stressed.