Do Something Selfless
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.”
– Brene Brown from The Gifts of Imperfection
At least once in your life, be willing to go to the ends of the Earth for someone! That means you drop everything that is important and in the space of one breath, do something selfless for someone, following your heart at the risk of everything else in your life. This is embracing vulnerability at its finest and I think if Brené Brown read this, she would be pleased. When you go to the ends of the Earth for someone else, you listen to your heart and say "yes" when your logical mind is rationalizing itself all the way to "no, don’t do it”.
I’ve had the blessing of being on the receiving end of this quite a few times in my life and I'm grateful for the moments and the lessons it revealed to me. The first significant memory was significant was when I was a Holland America Line Cruise Director on the ms Ryndam, sailing on 17-day cruises around Cape Horn. Back then, my friend and Social Hostess was Jessica and her mother Nancy was planning to cruise with us (Dad was staying home to run the family business). Throughout multiple conversations over glasses of wine and many Traditions of Excellence, we decided it would be a GREAT IDEA if our mothers could travel to the ends of the Earth together and join us in Ushuaia, Argentina (the southern-most city on the South American continent).
One night, I drummed up the courage to call my Mom ship-to-shore and invited her to make the trip and sail with me. It was the best sales pitch imaginable and it even included … “it won’t cost you a dime, I’ll pay for everything and of course you will be sharing a cabin with Nancy (Jessica’s mom who was a complete stranger)”. Assuming the sale of course, I quickly shifted to “How soon can you let me know?” and told her that I would call her back in 24 hours.
I knew my Mom well so while my heart hoped she would be spontaneous and easily say “yes”, I held my breath the next day when I called her back. Truth be told, I expected her to say "no thank you, your gift is too generous" because you see, my Mom was brought up with the idea that parents do for their children, not the other way around. To my surprise, she said "yes, thank you"! Mom then shared the LONG conversation she'd had with her friend and mentor Phyllis, and how with Phyllis’s help, Mom had worked her way to "yes".
Needless to say, in her "yes", I was over the moon because I desperately wanted her to see me in my role as Cruise Director, the job I'd dreamed of since I was 9 years old! Intuitively I didn't know how much longer I'd be in this role (reason for another journal entry here) and I also knew it was something I wanted to share with her … why would a child not want to share her dream with her mother? Another important lesson here is that RECEIVING is just as important as GIVING. And when we say “no thank you”, we not only deny ourselves the pleasure of the gift, we deny the giver.
You can only imagine our/my excitement as the morning arrived and the Captain invited Jess and I to the Bridge for the sail into Ushuaia! Mom and Nancy had flown in the day before, just to make sure they didn’t miss the ship due to high winds or bad weather. We studying that long, concrete barren pier with eagle eyes. All of a sudden, we saw two figures jump out of the Pilots Office and start waving maniacally. They had no idea we could see them so clearly (I also think the “view from the bridge” camera that morning which transmitted into every single cruise guest cabin, included the excitement of our two Moms), Mom and Nancy only knew they had to be our greeting committee. There were our two mothers, waiting for us on the pier. There were our two mothers, who literally flew to the ends of the Earth for their daughters.
For my Mother, she had just started a new job with an Ad Agency in Naples, Florida so she risked her new job to ask her brand new employer to take a few weeks off. Seriously, he could have fired her on the spot … but he didn’t … he saw her talent and was willing to wait for her.
During that cruise, the four of us had an amazing time making incredible memories – makeovers at the Mac store in Buenos Aires followed by a belly-button piercing at the American Tattoo Parlor (Jess holding my hand as the needle went in) and a delicious steak lunch at Cabana Las Lilas along the river. The tours, the food, the wine and simply enjoying one another’s company, with many nights sitting on the balcony of their suite just watching the world go by. Mom and I still talk about that voyage today.
There is something spontaneous about going to the ends of the Earth for someone and sometimes that "someone" is YOU. To do it is amazing, to receive it is humbling, to be that person who goes to the ends of the Earth is enlightening. So another important lesson here is that receiving is just as important as giving. And when we say “no”, we not only deny ourselves the pleasure of the gift, we deny the giver the pleasure of giving.
So have I gone to the ends of the Earth for someone? Yes, I can say I have. Amongst many things, I've been the one my friends call in the middle of the night when they need someone who lacks judgement to go pick them up and take them home because they've had too much to drink. Being selfless for someone else is also a gift we can give ourselves. In that, I've also gone to the ends of the Earth for ME ... when I moved to the middle of the Ocala National Forest in pursuit of self study. Through that surrender, stepping out of the proverbial corporate rat race in order to do the inner work, people thought I was nuts but through it all, I met the love of my life and learned the ultimate lesson … self-acceptance.
The ends of the Earth can be the southern-most city on the continent or something that happens in your back yard. It's not how many miles you've traveled, it's about the difference you can make in your life and the lives of others. So take the risk, be vulnerable, set sail and remember, giving is just as important as receiving. Do not deny yourself … bon voyage!